Time to Evaluate Action

The "B" Word

Mon, 04 Apr 2022 04:33:43 GMT

Setting Boundaries

A lot happened since the last time we’ve taken T.E.A. together. Instead of boring you with the details, I’ll sum it up with today’s topic…Boundaries. One of the first things I ask my coaching clients to do before our first session is writing out their workplace boundaries. They struggle with identifying boundaries for the most part because they don’t have any. Listen, you cannot have a work-life balance if you do not have boundaries. We struggle with the workplace, relationships, and family drama because we lack boundaries. The past week revealed an area in my life where I lack boundaries, and I, too, got sucked into the fray. However, because I know the importance of boundaries, my self-awareness pulled me out of that place. That’s what you gain when you learn to set boundaries, self-awareness. We’re notorious for saying, “don’t nobody know me like me”. I beg to differ; you don’t know yourself if you haven’t set boundaries.

Boundaries are not the same as limitations. When setting your boundaries, make sure they do not evoke black and white thinking. Such a mindset will distort your ability to be present at the moment. What do you mean? If someone or something gets too close to my boundary, I don’t just ignore it or them. I make a conscious decision if I want to entertain the matter and how much of the situation I will entertain. Once I feel the issue too much, I kindly fall back and remove myself. Of course, later, others may ask why I did contribute or jump in? My reply is, I didn’t have anything to offer, so I kept quiet. See how that worked? I picked the battle, and I did not allow anyone to pull me into their struggle.

There are so many benefits to setting boundaries. Think of a boundaryless person as someone with the gates open, allowing anything and everything to come into their space. The fastest but hardest way (for some) to set a boundary is by saying “NO”. Did you know that every “NO” does not require a justification? It’s a fact. We love to justify our no’s, but rarely do every have to explain our yes. Think about that. The guy gets on one knee to propose; the girl says yes…everyone’s happy. Girl says no and get a million questions asked. Listen, when it comes to you and your decisions, think twice before you justify your no. And if you have to, try saying “because it’s my choice to make”. Setting boundaries will, without a doubt, rub some folks the wrong way. Why? Because society has conditioned the masses to accept “no” as a bad or negative thing (that’s a whole blog in itself). We cannot serve others wholeheartedly if we fail to establish and maintain personal boundaries. Servant leadership hinges upon your ability to master self-awareness first. Empty leaders build empty leaders.

T.E.A. tribe, I hope you examine your actions and set new boundaries. Take charge of your life, your situation, but most importantly, YOU. Here are three thought-provoking questions to get you started with setting boundaries are a professional leader.

1. In what area of your life do you need to set boundaries?

2. What is so scary about saying no without a justification?

3. What boundary can you put in place today?

You deserve this. You deserve to lead others without feeling neglected or burned out. When you’re ready, I’ll be here. Until next time… S.I.P. away!

Byproduct with a purpose

Mon, 21 Mar 2022 06:41:18 GMT

T.E.A Byproduct

This week I came across something very interesting about tea waste. The funny thing about this topic is it hit close to home in my weekly reflection. If I shared my life journey with you thus far, I'm sure your mouth would hit the floor, your stomach would turn, and anger would flow from every part of your body. I didn't have the best childhood. My childhood led to a difficult adulthood transition, but I was not a total waste. This reflection brings me to this week's T.E.A. and what I discovered.

Did you know tea waste have a use? The byproduct of tea; the stems, dust, damaged leaves, and detritus remnants are unappealing and not the first thing that comes to mind when you think of tea. But the byproduct of tea is widely used in commercial industries to fortify material and create nutrients that can be consumed by many of the animals and plants we enjoy at our dinner tables. In some instances, the tea leaves are used to fabricate clothing and shoes for less fortunate countries. Imagine that, the undesirable elements of tea making a huge difference in the world. The benefits of tea byproducts do not fit the typical narrative of tea's elegance we've come to know and love. So how can we use this example?

Perhaps, you're like me and were grown in a field filled with great tea plants. Despite what we may claim, our life experiences follow us into adulthood. Perhaps we were not selected as the best selection for tea consumption, but we have a purpose in this world. I coach small business owners that have endured so much heartbreak; you would wonder how they survive. There are many tea byproducts leading some of the biggest companies in the world. I am a proud tea byproduct serving my purpose in the world. I am ok with being a tea byproduct and not the main tea plant. Why? Once the tea is consumed, the remaining product is disposed of in the household trash bin. For us, the tea byproduct, we have an expansive range of benefits and purposes in society. Our life challenges give us the courage to endure failure, inspiration to dream big, and a foundation for honorable work ethics. Even as the byproduct of our environment, we work hard because we are familiar with the bottom and refuse to go back to our old stomping grounds. Our byproduct elements are what contribute to how we lead others.

So, as you evaluate your actions this week, take a moment and examine how your desire to be the main tea product interferes with your uniqueness as a tea byproduct. Embrace what you have to offer, even if it's not offering yourself to the main table. Your influence extends beyond the office with the view, the C-Suites, and the board room. You make an impact in the lives of those around you and beyond. It's easy to find yourself competing for the role of tea, but after researching this week, I am very comfortable with the impact and function the tea byproduct has in this world. Take some time this week and center yourself in your true self. Lead others knowing that they too may be a fellow byproduct, and together you can accomplish so much more. We have a purpose, just like the tea byproduct. I leave you with one question. What's wrong with the way you are? Until next time…sip Away!

The Teabag

Mon, 14 Mar 2022 06:19:45 GMT

Your T.E.A Bag

The last time you consumed tea, did you think about the actual teabag? How did the teabag come about, and why? I went to do some digging, and here is what I found out. The exact origins of the teabag are unknown. However, Thomas Sullivan is credited with creating the closest resemblance to the teabag we know today. He constructed the teabag out of gauze. According to legend, Sullivan decided to use gauze for convenience and easy cleanup. Even modern technological brewing systems can't compete with the good old teabag. The key to Sullivan's invention was the ability of the gauze to retain the delicate tea elements but not contaminate the tea drinker's mouth with tea particles.

There's a reflection in that process. What type of material are you using to disburse your talents, skills, and gifts in your work environment? The authentic version of you should be enough in all environments. The teabag does not detract from the quality of the tea. You're essentially watering down your true quality when you fake who you are. The consumer (your employer and followers) might enjoy the content, but you're left feeling unfulfilled. As the teabag, you served your purpose but is that good enough? A quality teabag allows just the right amount of the good stuff to filter out. Despite how hot the water gets or how long the teabag is left to steep, the contents remain contained. Think of your mindset as your teabag. Think critically about how much of your gift you should share with others. We should avoid allowing others to rip our teabags and expose the contents that can tarnish their experience and ours. Sure, we're all tempted to show up and show out, but why? Content exposure is often the symptom of something deeper that is worth exploring. The next time you are about to act out of character, or someone gets under your skin, stop and examine the quality of your teabag. It's not damaged beyond repair, it's not cheap, and YOU control what comes out. Disburse your contents on your terms and allow yourself room for growth. Until next time...sip away!

First Flush Tea

Mon, 07 Mar 2022 10:00:10 GMT

First-Flush Tea

As spring begins to peep out from the clouds, I can’t help but think back to visiting the Charleston Tea Garden, in South Carolina. Growing up in the neighboring state of Georgia, I never considered how close I was to such a beautiful place. We visited the site with our two children on one of our many family vacations and man did we bring back A LOT of tea. I’ll never forget my wife’s yearning for the “first flush” tea. To spare you all the melodrama, we got the doggone first flush tea. For you that don’t know, here’s what Charleston Tea Garden says about the first flush, “First Flush, is actually defined as the new growth of leaves on the tea plants in the springtime after they awaken from dormancy. Usually, this happens in April or May and creates a unique taste only available once a growing season!” ( www.charlestonteagarden.com ). Let me tell you, it’s worth the price and the experience if you’re a tea connoisseur which we are not. Bottom line, we purchased the first picking of tea leaves for that particular season. First-flush tea is more delicate but very bold. Tender, but can benefit from a little more ripening. Fresh and brisk but have an astringent taste. It’s a tea that hasn’t reached its full potential but will get the job done if you’re ok with overlooking a few of the better qualities. By now, you should see where we are going with the T.E.A. this week. The workplace and our private spaces are filled with first-flush people. We become the first-flush when we allow envy to overcome us and act in ways that jeopardize our very being. Leading or performing from a first flush perspective can feel like a win but is it really? Some tea connoisseurs consider first flush tea the equivalent of a top shelf champaign. Here is where we must focus because I have no desire to bash first or second flush tea. Any tea made in the U.S.A. depends largely on the region it’s produced (Halmara Tea Eastate, 2020). Tea produced in South Carolina and tea from Maine can be picked at the exact same time, yet the South Carolina tea will just taste better. Why? It’s the environment and the factors contributing to the tea that we cannot see which make all the difference. As you lead or go about your week think about that. So, what if a first-flush from Maine is getting all the action, let them be. Your tea qualities are so good that you didn’t even realize you had been picked for a certain reason. To heal, captivate, and put a smile upon someone’s face like only you can do. Those my friend, are qualities that can never be duplicated. If that means waiting until full maturation, well, feel the sunshine until it’s your time to steep. Clap for others and do it genuinely knowing that quality delayed does not mean quality denied. Until next time…Sip away.

Source:

First Flush — Charleston Tea Garden

First Flush vs Second Flush Tea — Which Is Better? | by Halmari Tea Estate | Medium

Growing Tea

Mon, 28 Feb 2022 07:00:04 GMT

Grow your own tea!

How many types of tea are there in the world? I don't know either, but we agree it's a lot. I came across a great article regarding harvesting tea leaves and found a very interesting fact. Almost all the tea in the world is derived from Camellia sinensis (Grant, 2020). The plant alone matures in about two years, and at five years, the plant produces adequate tea leaves. The key to making a quality tea from the plant resides in the ability of the gardener to allow the plant to mature, bloom, scale back, regrow then package for its full benefit. Effective leadership can follow the same process. That one person in the workplace can't seem to get it right. What stage in the harvesting process is their talent within your organization? Coming to a new organization is essentially uprooting a plant and placing it into a new environment. Of course, the subordinate person's job description may have or not changed. The leader's responsibility is to be the organizational gardener. Feedback is the water and sunshine needed for the employee to survive. Negative feedback frequently equates to too much sun and water, which damages the plant. While a damaged plant may thrive to maturation, the final product will have many beneficial properties. Damaged plants yield poor fruit. Damaged subordinates become counterproductive followers and leaders. Most leaders will make mistakes. True leadership comes from recognizing you haven't been maintaining your tea plant and take action to heal the plant. Next time you're faced with a challenging subordinate, think about the quality of tea you'd prefer to drink. Until next time…Sip away.

Source: Grant, Amy. (2020). When to harvest tea plants: Information on tea plant harvesting. Harvesting Tea Plants - Tips on How to Harvest Camellia Sinensis (gardeningknowhow.com) .

Steeping

Mon, 21 Feb 2022 19:38:37 GMT

Why T.E.A?

No one really enjoys the feeling of being under pressure. When I'm under pressure, I just need to be alone. Not for a long period, but just a few minutes to think, breathe, and refocus. My time away is my steeping time. According to registered dietician Anne Danahy (2020), regardless of the type of tea being used, all variations require a steeping period. How long tea steeps is important to the boldness of the flavor and effects it has on the human body. Humm…that sounds like us, right? Leadership is an ugly business. We love to doll up our actions with terms like transformative, transactional, and servant; the fact of the matter is without authenticity, does any of those terms matter? Authentic leadership is recognizing how long you need to steep. Not knowing your required steeping time correlates to dismissing subordinates, taking on the boss mentality (insert eye roll), and just making folks around you miserable. Poor steeping habits degrade your value to the team. If you’re an entrepreneur, your poor steeping habits can be blocking your creativity. The two most important aspects of steeping tea (time and temperature) can be applied to what we do every day. Set aside at least five minutes a day to steep. Take that business call while on a walk (of course in a safe area). Connect with your temperament. Instead of asking “why” simply replace the word with “how” or “what” and see what you come up with. A good cup of tea will work wonders for your body. Be a good cup of tea to your dreams and aspirations. Until next time…. Sip away.

Source: Danahy, Anne. (2020). How to steep tea like an expert. How to Steep Tea Like an Expert (healthline.com) .